Don't forget it: LABELS LIE.

The first thing you might notice is that the label's very flashy. It uses bright colors, refined images, and the fonts are nicely shaped. The makers of this cart obviously weren't working with rudimentary factory equipment or an old software program. Notice anything else about this cart? For starters, take a look at the image for Wrecking Crew (under "111 n 1"). That isn't Wrecking Crew! Who the hell are those two animated kids!? Notice anything else? There's Wario Land right there on the label! But guess what...there's no Wario Land on the cartridge.

Lesson #2: Numbers Lie

Take a look at the same pirate cartridge above. It says "111 in 1." Sounds pretty nice. You think to yourself: If I buy that, I'll get 111 different games on one tiny cartridge. Ha! Think again. While it's possible to pack 111 different games onto a Famicom game board, it doesn't happen often. What's more likely is that the pirate maker will put about 10 to 15 different games on a cart and then repeat those games for the remainder of the 111. I have a pirated Famicom system with 76,000 preloaded games on it. It has only about 50 different games, and those games are repeated again and again, using variations of the original game, such as "Galaxian HTS" and "Galaxian FWT."

Sometime, however, you might get lucky. There are two ways to get lucky. The first, of course, is to actually get a pirate multi-cart that has more than 50 different games on it. Some multi-carts have been known to have up to 120 different games. Those are hard to come by. The second way to get lucky is to find a multi-cart where the pirate makers have juiced up some of the repeats. In other words, not only do you get the original Super Mario Bros. but you also get the strange hack Fancy Mario and Crazy Mario.

Lesson #3: Pirates Aren't Worth Much

I know. I know. You've been on eBay before and watched helplessly as you were outbid by lunatic bidders on that neat looking pirate cart. It's happened to me before. People go crazy for pirates. I haven't figured out why. I like them myself, but with the good ones so hard to come by, it's really a gamble if you're paying high prices for just anything.

Pirate carts with only one game on them are worth next to nothing. I wouldn't pay over $5 for one of those and probably closer to $3. Of course, it always depends on the game on the cart. If the game is, say, Snow Bros., it'll obviously go for much more, since it's a rarer game than, say, Super Mario Bros. 3, which you can get that anywhere.

These are the single cart (sometimes found on multi-carts) to look out for. They're definitely the hardest to come by:

Aladdin

AV Beautiful Girl Fighting

Boogerman

Dance Dance Revolution

Donkey Kong Country

Earthworm Jim

Fatal Fury

Golden Axe

Kart Fighter

The Lion King

Master Fighter

Mortal Kombat

Power Rangers

Somari

Sonic the Hedgehog

Street Fighter

Super Mario World

Tekken

Time Diver Avenger

Windows 2000

All of those games were never made for the Famicom. The developers hacked other console's games, including 16-bit Super Famicom games, and tailored them to work on the 8-bit Famicom. They're exceptionally rare; some of them have variations by similar titles. You'd make me jealous if you owned any of those. There are probably more 16-bit hacks out there, or other unique hacks, that I haven't heard about. One dude told me about a hack of Street Fighter II where you get to fight as the Playboy Bunny. I've heard of Teletubbies being hacked in place of Mario. You just never know what you'll find.

Some pirates were made for the Famicom Disk System and then ported by a pirate maker to cart. Those are hard to find, too, but you can find them if you try. For example, Doki Doki Panic was ported to cart. Others, like Recca, were made as carts but had a limited release, so finding a pirated version of it is like finding Famicom pirate gold.

Few pirated carts come with a manual. But more often you'll see one with a box. Usually the companies putting out pirated cartridges have a uniform box for all their games, regardless of the game or games on the cartridge, maybe with a little plastic window showing the name of the game on the cart's label. Some pirated games come with their very own box, which are hard to find, and make the games worth that much more.

Lesson #4: Pirates Are Mass Produced

Still, even with the box, pirate carts are mass produced, though not in as high a number as legit carts. Don't forget that: Pirate carts are mass produced. So, you don't have to go crazy bidding on one, thinking you'll never see it again. You will, with some patience.