STORYLINE 3/5

 

The tale begins (whether it's before or after Splatterhouse is unknown) in a graveyard. A girl by the name of Jennifer is crying over a grave. But, completely out of nowhere a lightning bolt crashes out of the sky and into the grave releasing the Jason-wannabe (AKA Rick) out of his buried state. Jennifer is happy and I guess Rick is, too, but unfortunately another bolt hits the grave on the left to release none other than Michael Jack...I mean the pumpkin king! He floats over Rick and pulls a Ghost 'n' Goblins on his ass, kidnapping Jennifer. Rick must once again begin to scale these haunted wood or mansions -- whatever -- to find Jennifer and defeat the jack-o-lantern, or we'll call him jack-o-thus-his-association-to-the-King-of-Pop-himself!

 

 

 

GRAPHICS 5/5

 

Graphically, SplatterHouse is quite impressive. The sprites are large and detailed, but are marred by the lack of multiple colors per sprite. The animation is on par with other games, but nothing worth really mentioning. The backgrounds on the other hand are really amazing. They’re crammed with various objects. For example, there’s the graveyard stage; it’s filled with tons of tombstones, broken iron fences, green weeds that blow in the wind, trees, immense mountains, and a dreary black sky complete with bolts of lightning.

 

 

AUDIO 3/5

 

The sound effects are pretty weak, with only a few sparse noises, but the music isn’t all that bad. The music is blemished by the fact that the first stage's music resurfaces more than a couple of times. Strangely enough the hidden levels have their own unique themes that just rock. I figured Namco might try to slip in previous stage music, but oh well.

 

 

GAMEPLAY 4.5/5

 

In all its 8-bit glory, Splatterhouse is a completely original title and nothing at all like its arcade counterpart. In the game, you start off with a pussy-ass life meter, but the more enemies squashed, the bigger it gets because you're gaining experience!

 

You only have two weapons in the game: a hatchet and a shotgun, which you can pickup anywhere and you can use to literally blow enemies away! It's too bad you can run out of bullets.

 

You can only continue three times before it’s "Game Over;" passwords allow our undead hero to resume his quest at any time, but extra life will be lost.

 

Also, during the last bit of the game (or so it seems) you can actually end up in a situation where you go to secret levels! This happens when you dodge this death-like dude, who would then out you into some skulls mouth; you wake up in a coffin only to fight the boss minutes later! But if you dodge him you move onto weirdness, like medieval Japan and Egypt. For every level you finish, I'm told, you get more bonuses added on to the end of the game. Sweet!

 

 

CONTROL 4.5/5

 

The controls are top-notch, fluid, and tight. Moving Rick with the game’s fairly quick speed is a breeze with a responsive directional pad and buttons. Jumping is also quite easy, since Rick’s range of leaping is long. Unfortunately, Rick doesn’t stop immediately as one would probably like. This can be a little annoying at first, but it won’t be long before you adapt to the game’s physics. Thus, you should have no trouble progressing with these fine controls. Oh, and I should mention that B is used to swing Rick's hatchet or shotgun, whichever weapon you have at the time.

 

 

FUN FACTOR 4/5

 

One cool thing is that you can receive a bigger life gauge with the more enemies you kill, which means if you use passwords and go to a higher level, you'll get killed with less hits! There are also hidden stages in the game! Even if you defeat Jennifer’s gourd-like kidnapper, you’re not quite finished. Entrances to a pair of hidden levels also lurk within the game, transporting Rick to medieval Japan and the pyramids of ancient Egypt. Waiting at the end of each level is a woman bearing a crystal ball, each of which lengthens the ending with an additional screen. While nothing overwhelming, this secret epilogue adds a nice twist to the already eccentric conclusion, particularly for fans of the original game!

 

 

OVERALL 4.5/5

 

The game is something that would've looked good in it's nice-looking American gray toaster, but that shit didn't happen obviously! One way to describe this game is that it's a joke about horror movies and it also has 8-bit gore -- blood and guts! One of my favorite scenes includes the one battle against a girl. Spiders explode out her stomach while she's sleeping (a take from Aliens). After beating 40 of those bastards, she gets up, yawns, and walks away like nothing happened!

 

As for the reason behind not making it to the U.S.? Don't have a clue, but I think it's got something to do with the vampire in the first level who imitates Michael Jackson and then gives you the finger! Now that's scary! Don't forget to check out the shrine.

 

 

SCREENSHOTS