Looking for work related advice

Started by fcgamer, October 15, 2014, 07:10:38 pm

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fcgamer

To make a long story short, my work schedule varies day by day, and the time I need to be in for work fluctuates as well.  On Mondays and Fridays, I need to be in at work shortly before 11, Wednesdays around 10:00, and on Tuesdays and Thursdays I need to be at work by around 9:15 or so.  This sort of schedule has been causing me a lot of problems lately, and it actually has me a bit worried about the security of my job.

For the past month or so, I have been oversleeping and being late to work (and thus missing a class I teach) about once a week.  It is always the early class too, where I need to be at work by 9:15.  I have tried going to bed early, but then I just lie in bed and worry that I won't wake up on time.  I try sleeping with the lights on, but then I just feel even more tired in the morning.  And I've tried setting more alarms, but I just sleep through them, only waking up right before my class is to start, with the dreaded phone call and the secretary wondering where the hell I am.  Now, I have luckily been working this job for over three years, and have a good relations with the people there, but as we all know, at some point someone is going to have enough of my shenanigans and tell me to pack my backs and leave...at least that is my worry, because that is what I would do, if the situation was reversed and an employee was acting unreliable and irresponsible.

So I have pondered the whole situation quite a bit, and I believe it has come down to two different things going on here.  #1, because there is such a deviation in the time I need to be at work, my body cannot adjust and get into a proper schedule.  All of my colleagues (the local Taiwanese) have good schedules, where they have to be at work the same time every day, and besides the mental toll on remembering "Do I need to be at work at 9 today or 11?", I feel this also could be causing some of the trouble.

Secondly, sometimes when I stay up, I have been talking with my family back home, about 12 hours difference.  There are some things going on back home (i.e. my mom is going through chemo treatments for cancer, and although it seems that she will be alright, you never know for sure...and she has been through so many by now, she is starting to feel weak, etc).  So I am not getting the proper sleep either, just making it quite hard to make it for that morning time.

I am thinking about going in to work this afternoon and apologizing to the manager, explaining to her the situation that is going on with my family back home, and asking for forgiveness about my recent antics, in the hopes that she will be understanding and also willing to work with my bullshit for the next month or two, until the chemo treatments are finished and things settle back to how they should be.  Does this seem reasonable, or would I just be making a spectacle of myself? 

I really like my job, and would hate to lose it over something like this, but these past few weeks have just been brutal on me for making it there on time, all five days.
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security16

Your mum being sick is a pretty hard thing to deal with especially since you're half a world away so maybe explain that is the reason you've been a bit all over the place lately. I know how hard it is working different shifts all the time and it sucks your live on fuck all sleep and get to a point where you end up having to sleep for a whole weekend at least once a month to catch up.
Maybe see if you could swing it so that you can start at the same time every day or do weeks where you start at one time then start at a different time the next week.

fcgamer

Quote from: security16 on October 16, 2014, 06:57:32 pm
Your mum being sick is a pretty hard thing to deal with especially since you're half a world away so maybe explain that is the reason you've been a bit all over the place lately. I know how hard it is working different shifts all the time and it sucks your live on fuck all sleep and get to a point where you end up having to sleep for a whole weekend at least once a month to catch up.
Maybe see if you could swing it so that you can start at the same time every day or do weeks where you start at one time then start at a different time the next week.


Hey thanks for the response!  Just as a follow up to my last post on this issue, I went into work last Thursday and told the manager about my issue and what had been going on with my sleep, and asked about getting my schedule to be stable in the mornings.  She answered that because of the other teaching schedules, she was unable to adjust mine (or she would have to change everyone else's as well), but she was more than sympathetic and seemed understanding about the matter, when I explained it to her.  So hopefully I won't have any more episodes, but at least if I do, then my manager knows what is going on in my life.
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pic-mirandole

Well,

considering that your manager has also a private life with problems, she may  feel some sympathy with respect of your current situation: you're caring about your mother's health although you're some thousands kms from her away and this worry causes you some "sleeping" issues.

The fact that you decided to further explain the background will help her to play her role of manager: accounting some "uncommon" circumstances (living very far from the relatives, having to worry about serious problems...), she probably appreciated your courage and your confidence in confessing this problem (courage because of possible "shame" feeling by revealing very personal points of our private life you overcome and confidence because you discussed with her, considering she can understand and she can keep this secret for her while helping).

We sometimes expect that people don't care about our problems and would criticise any situation where we address some parts of private life just because it could be seen as complaining or justifying or looking for any other scapegoat which  is  sometimes groundless...

Communicating is more helpful than forecasting the impact of what we can confess to somebody. It does not mean she will tolerate any further similar situations if they become regular but she can see that effort as a request to be helped (with temporay timeschedule accommodation" or "at least" to be understood (if she has to "cover" previous drawbacks).

People are sometimes more understanding that what we imagine (from my view)  ;D

We just need to have a try and tell them the story...

nintendodork

If you're having problems sleeping, I would suggest setting a strict schedule to follow in the mornings (like waking up at the same time every day) and finding things to occupy your extra time in the morning on the days you have to work later at. I would also recommend taking melatonin if you're OK with supplements like that. You can find it in the same section in a store as you would vitamins and it's pretty inexpensive. When I had to start waking up at 6:30AM every day over the summer, I used it to transition from my college sleep schedule which varied but I usually didn't get up until 10 or 11 every morning. It worked very well for me.
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fcgamer

Quote from: nintendodork on October 29, 2014, 11:10:22 pm
If you're having problems sleeping, I would suggest setting a strict schedule to follow in the mornings (like waking up at the same time every day) and finding things to occupy your extra time in the morning on the days you have to work later at. I would also recommend taking melatonin if you're OK with supplements like that. You can find it in the same section in a store as you would vitamins and it's pretty inexpensive. When I had to start waking up at 6:30AM every day over the summer, I used it to transition from my college sleep schedule which varied but I usually didn't get up until 10 or 11 every morning. It worked very well for me.


Thanks for the suggestions and advice!  I think I will try to get some melatonin and think that I will also try to set a tighter / more stable schedule for sleeping. 

Things have been getting better these past few weeks, and I hope it continues to go smoothly.  Likewise, my mom only has a few more treatments to go before she is finished with her chemo, so it seems that the worst is through. 
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