Transformers: Convoy no Nazo review.

[kite200]

Transformers is one of the largest toy robot franchises out there aside from gundam. Therefore, it would make sense that a video game was produced based off of transformers. On December 5th, 1986, this piece of trash was released for all the Japanese schoolchildren to buy.

[NOTE: this is the part I want in quotes at the top of the page when you put this up, JC]

I can actually imagine a Japanese kid buying this game and then committing suicide. Not because suicide rates of children are high in Japan, even though they are; but because this game sucks that much. Really.

Story: 1/5

Basically the story of this game is non existent, there is no text to really show you along in terms of whats going on, the only reason I can give it a 1/5 is because you're supposed to assume it has something to do with transformers. Honestly I doesn't really even deserve a 1

Graphics: 1/5

The enemies look like some 2 year old drew them, and the bullets are so small that you can't see them. Keep in mind, I have 16/16 vision, that's better than 20/20, and I can't see them. The graphics are basically abysmal.

Audio: 2/5

A terrible rendition of a transformers song, but I guess it's better than nothing. Since you will be playing the first level over and over again this might get annoying, I highly suggest muting the TV

Gameplay: 1/5

It's a sidescroller, and it sucks. The game is so hard, mainly because of the terrible controls, that you wont get past the first level. Even though you can "transform", your transformed form is so craptastic that you wont ever use it, so it's a waste of a button on the controller. And for some reason, all the enemies are way stronger than you are, which doesn't help the games difficulty

Control: 1/5

The controls are terrible, they are not responsive and they'll get you killed.

Fun Factor: 1/5

Playing ET on the 2600 is probably more fun than this game. You will not like this game. I guarantee it. Do not spend money on this game unless you are prepared for it to suck.

Frustration: 10/5

Yep, I rated it higher than you possibly can. That's because this is the hardest game ever. This game will make you want to break your famicom into a thousand tiny pieces and then light the game on fire with a can of gasoline. I think the group of people who are hunting down and destroying shaq fu carts should re focus their efforts on this game instead, since at least shaq fu is laughably bad. This game just makes you want to kill yourself

Overall: 1/5

This game sucks. Luckily, I got it free, but I still want to kill myself after playing it.

[SuperMarioBrosSuperShow]

I honestly didn't think the game was that bad except for the dying with only one hit part.  It reminds me a lot of Silver Surfer in that aspect (although I think that game is FAR worse)  I don't think the control was as nearly as bad as you made it out to be, because while it could be better, at least the controls aren't stiff like they are in a lot of other games.  I can see why they never released it here though.  It was just too damn hard and it would have pissed off a lot of American kids by making Optimus Prime into such a wimp

[kite200]

well, dude, the game isnt beatable...

at least I can beat ET on the 2600

[SuperMarioBrosSuperShow]

well no argument there in terms of the game not being beatable, but remember, hard doesn't always necessarily = bad.  I thought that Battletoads was pretty good and that game is damn near impossible

[kite200]

but you can beat battletoads!

[SuperMarioBrosSuperShow]

lol I couldn't

[kite200]

and also, battletoads doesnt suck ass like transformers does

[SuperMarioBrosSuperShow]

yeah because at least in Battletoads, you didn't die after one stinking hit

[kite200]

and it has better graphics, controls, and sound.

[Doc]

Christ, this game is impossible. I played it like last month for like five minutes and gave up.

[kite200]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wl2k37U3vcs

OH MY GOD THIS GUY IS CRAZY, NOT ONLY DOES HE BEAT IT, HE DOES IT WITHOUT DYING ONCE AND IN 7 MINS 32 SECONDS, HOLY SHIT

[Doc]

Ugh, those screeching noises...

[Profeta Yoshitake]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wl2k37U3vcs

OH MY GOD THIS GUY IS CRAZY, NOT ONLY DOES HE BEAT IT, HE DOES IT WITHOUT DYING ONCE AND IN 7 MINS 32 SECONDS, HOLY SHIT

I'm not very scared with this guy....
It looks like some sort of Tool Assisted Time Attack [TAS]...
The guy just do every move frame buy frame with the help
of emulation and save states galore...
I'm gonna believe it just if I see the jap guy smashing the
buttons of a real life Famicom controller right in front of
my very eyes... it could be done via YouTube, also, but with
the ugly face of the maniac appearing to prove that he is
actually PLAYING something!

[SuperMarioBrosSuperShow]

yeah thats what I was thinking.  It HAS to be a tool assisted run

[kite200]

idk, you can generally tell if its tas, and i cant tell, so.... but, it still could be, maybe if i can beat it myself using his strategies then it isnt. i'll have to try this, but it might take awhile.....