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Author Topic: I just lost everything.  (Read 7117 times)
MaxXimus
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« on: September 01, 2018, 08:34:38 PM »

I lost my job. I lost my wife. I lost my sense of who I am and Iíve lost the will guys. Iím having very strong feelings about my future and what it holds. Iím considering having myself admitted. I know this isnít the place but I just thought I would share with some people who may or may not have gotten to know me over the last 11 years. Mitchell as everyone knew him is gone. This is the new me. Hello.
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« Reply #1 on: September 01, 2018, 09:25:50 PM »



MaxXimus I donít know what to say...  Please get some help if you think you need it and talk to your family, donít go scaring us buddy.  Glad that you let us know youíre going through some tough times, and you can always ask for help from your friends here.  That is what FamicomWorld means to me, Iím guessing it must be a part true for you as well.
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« Reply #2 on: September 01, 2018, 09:46:26 PM »

I'm sorry to hear you are going through some rough times, and we can do very little but give words of encouragement.
I hope your children are ok. Yes talk to your family, and don't give up!
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MWK
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« Reply #3 on: September 01, 2018, 09:54:48 PM »

You haven't lost everything buddy - you have us, your favourite console and the passion for it!
I know it may sounds unreasonable from a "person far away" from you and your troubles, but all I'm saying is just try to keep that in mind, You haven't lost everything MaxXimus POW
Stay safe.
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MaxXimus
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« Reply #4 on: September 01, 2018, 10:03:13 PM »

Iím now with the police and they are taking me to the CRC to get help. That is where Iím going to be for a bit I think. Take care guys
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UglyJoe
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« Reply #5 on: September 02, 2018, 01:23:55 AM »

Max, wow.  Get all the help you need.  Get better, man.
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« Reply #6 on: September 02, 2018, 05:31:02 AM »

Hi Mitch. Thanks for sharing what happen. I know you went through a lot lately years, but nothing is more important than life itself. Is not wrong getting professional help and we at FW are always here to talk. Although I not so openly about my private life, I had experiences and I know life can be really messed up...to an extent whereas standing to the edge of decision of question life itself.

Please feel free sending a PM, or just want discuss in this thread. You are a great guy and if want a radical change, you are anyday welcome to Japan. Sometime change of enviroment, if just only briefly is very refreshing and while I cannot understand what you going through in detail, I can sense is very serious for you, and like you see, people here do care and so do I.

Stay safe and take any measure of help that is available.

Best wishes.

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MaxXimus
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« Reply #7 on: September 02, 2018, 11:53:17 AM »

Thanks for the words guys. It does mean a lot. I got released last night with some information to read. They are also writing a note to my doctor about the gravity of the situation because he doesn't really want to listen to me anymore i feel. They are requesting he refers me to a psychiatrist. I have also been signed up for CBT classes as well as a mood disorder group. I may start getting my medications swapped around until we can find something that is going to work for me. I just feel so empty and lost.
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« Reply #8 on: September 02, 2018, 12:12:57 PM »

Thanks for the words guys. It does mean a lot. I got released last night with some information to read. They are also writing a note to my doctor about the gravity of the situation because he doesn't really want to listen to me anymore i feel. They are requesting he refers me to a psychiatrist. I have also been signed up for CBT classes as well as a mood disorder group. I may start getting my medications swapped around until we can find something that is going to work for me. I just feel so empty and lost.

Glad to hear they, but most important yourself acknowledge the fact there is an issue and that help is required. Too many people go around without getting proper help they need, so hopefully you can get that help now. I would also check for DBT therapy depending on your overall mental situation which I not knowing much about.

Regards of medicine, some type of mood stabilizer, or even a weak anti-psychotic medicine might be benificial, although very sedative. I have medical knowledge due to having relatives being mentally ill, but in your case of course you should of course consult with doctor. Sad fact is finding a good doctor can be tricky, but once found, I am sure you will work out something, not only for short term (like bensodiazepines or similar) but longer term and how to deal with anxiety and such thing is a very good choice you sign up for classes such as CBT.

I really wish you the best.  Cheesy
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MaxXimus
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« Reply #9 on: September 02, 2018, 12:25:26 PM »

Ive been on antipsychotics before, a couple actually. I am part of the 1% of the population that has a paradox effect from them. They make me very angry and stimulated.

What is DBT?
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« Reply #10 on: September 02, 2018, 12:36:34 PM »

Ive been on antipsychotics before, a couple actually. I am part of the 1% of the population that has a paradox effect from them. They make me very angry and stimulated.

What is DBT?

I understand. Yes, there are some people getting adverse effect on that, just like with AD(D)HD or other neurological diagnosed people cannot feel effect of stimulants or getting the opposite reaction. I guess adderall is the best example but when it come to antipsychotics I would say unless given a proper dose of anti-extrapyramidial medicine to counter off the side effects of both old and atypical antipsychotics things can turn nasty and I know for example one guy could not sit still, or sleep, or do anything until they came up that they missed to give him a dose of Pargitan.

You ever been on mood stabilizers? Lithium, valproic acid and similar has proven a good effect. Risk is adding too much is just messing up the system, but I guess you have experience that you know what I mean. For person feeling both lost and perhaps depressed is difficult. SSRI sure does help some people, but at same time they are not stabilizing mood per se, but rather just affects the serotonin levels, and while OK for depression of course theraphy should be there as well.

Honestly I would say CBT is kind of a bit of popular since last 10 years or so. Anything from losing weight to stop smoking, to basically many thing. For many people is very good and I think is a good idea. But DBT focus more on the psychological side rather than just the cognitive side. I don't know if anything for you, but I can really recommend it since is a different approach and different approaches/perspectives I believe is always kind of good to be open minded.

DBT = Dialectical Behavior Therapy

https://behavioraltech.org/resources/faqs/dialectical-behavior-therapy-dbt/
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MaxXimus
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« Reply #11 on: September 02, 2018, 12:48:06 PM »

Thanks, I'll check it out.

Right now the medications I am on are

Cymbalta 60mg (SNRI) (Prescribed 1 time a day)
Clonaazapam 0.5mg (Benzodiazapine) (Prescribed 2 times a day. I only take as needed)
Marijuana 15%-20% THC (Indica) (Prescribed 5 grams a day. I only use about 3)
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« Reply #12 on: September 02, 2018, 01:00:12 PM »

I see. How long you been on SNRI? Does it work for you? My experience is that they are useful as complement to other medications. I would say a mood stabilizer in combination with SNRI/SSRI medications. Sure, SNRI on its own can help cutting the worst rollercoaster emotions, but a proper mood stabilizer is often needed to be more "steady".

Clonazepam is not very prescribed here in Japan, but other Bensodiazepines are. Flunitrazepam probably is the strongest, but I would advice against it unless having it as "backup" for really serious anxiety attack-situations, although I know some people have very high tolerance and literally can go on with a bensodiazepine for years without develop dependence.

THC  Grin Lucky you. Could ever dream about that in this country, but even then I probably not would take any strain of THC. I don't even drink alcohol nowadays but if asked me 10 years ago hahaha.

Only thing I see of your medication that might not be enough is the SNRI. I think it need additional mood stabilizer. I am not a doctor but I have years of experience ( I even tried many those medicines myself just to see what happened when I was younger  Tongue ) But yes, hopefully now you can get the help that you really need. Nobody deserves feeling that bad, and if really serious there is always people willing to give their little help what they can, even on such a small place as FW.

Hope you can give us a little bit of update after a while if you found another doctor or gotten other medicine here or in PM. If need talk the door is always open. Best wishes.
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MaxXimus
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« Reply #13 on: September 02, 2018, 02:57:51 PM »

I actually think clonazepam May be stronger than flunitrazepam. 1-2mg of flunitrazepam is equal to about 5mg diazepam whereas 0.25-0.5mg clonazepam is equal to about 5mg diazepam. Iíve never been on flunitrazepam so I canít say for sure. Iíve also been on lorazepam, diazepam, and alprazolam.
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« Reply #14 on: September 02, 2018, 03:10:47 PM »

Yes, that might very well be true.

Flunitrazepam has a shorter half life though (what I read), but both are on the more fast onset for servere panic attacks and similar, while I would say Diazepam on the other hand is on the extreme end with a unnaturally long half life probably best for thing like social phobia and such thing, although any bensodiazepine would probably do the job if really needed, but if tapering down or trapping out then Diazepam or something similar would be "smoother" to go through first since many of these are literally (excuse my languge) hell to stop after a longer time.

You certainly most probably have more experience than me though, but is really like love/hate feeling. Great when really needed to calm down but if taken too much for extended periods of time it might do more good than bad. Unfortunately.
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