Favorite quotes

[ericj]

"A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government.

A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury.

From that moment on, the majority always vote for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship.

The average age of the world's greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years.

During those 200 years, those nations always progressed through the following sequence:

1. from bondage to spiritual faith;
2. from spiritual faith to great courage;
3. from courage to liberty;
4. from liberty to abundance;
5. from abundance to complacency;
6. from complacency to apathy;
7. from apathy to dependence;
8. from dependence back into bondage."

- Alexander Tyler (1787) - unverified

[JC]

I have that same quote saved on my PC.

Some words, when strung together carefully enough, have great depth, where the philosophical exploration and reality is endless:

I celebrate myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.
                                                              -- Walt Whitman

[ericj]

"Ideas do not have to be correct in order to be good; its only necessary that, if they do fail, they do so in an interesting way."

-Robert Rosen

[133MHz]

-The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

-That's the thing about childhood, you can never go back to it. It was golden and horrible at the same time.

-Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, But it's very funny -- did you ever try buying them without money? -- Ogden Nash

-A real friend isn't someone you use once and then throw away. A real friend is someone you can use over and over again.

-The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.

-I think your vote is like your pussy: It's perfectly legal to give it away for free, but the moment you try to earn some cash...

-Whenever someone tells you to take their advice, you can be pretty sure that they're not using it.

-Remember, God could only create the world in 6 days because he didn't have an established user base.

-Today's scientific question is: What in the world is electricity? And where does it go after it leaves the toaster? -- Dave Barry, "What is Electricity?

-Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain. -- Martin Mull

-QOTD: "If he learns from his mistakes, pretty soon he'll know everything."

-What we need is either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.

-When nothing can possibly go wrong, it will.

-Absence in love is like water upon fire; a little quickens, but much extinguishes it. -- Hannah More

-"When you meet a master swordsman, show him your sword. When you meet a man who is not a poet, do not show him your poem. -- Rinzai, ninth century Zen master"

-"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather... not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car."

-The secret of happiness is total disregard of everybody.

-A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.

-If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

-Roses are red; Violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic, And so am I.

-A waist is a terrible thing to mind. -- Ziggy

[Jedi Master Baiter]

I am gonorrhea -Carl Allen

[Rogles]

Very moving.

[JC]

-The secret of happiness is total disregard of everybody.

Here's a kinder alternative:

The sole cause of man's unhappiness is that he does not know how to sit quietly in his room.  -- Blaise Pascal

[Mindfreak]

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. -- Oscar Wilde

Oscar pretty much sums it up. 

[zombiepowder]

"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?"
             - Juvenal (1st/2nd Century CE), Satire VI

translates to:

"Who Watches the Watchmen?"





also are there swears allowed because there are some pretty funny Carlin quotes that i'd like to post but if there's no swearing i'll save it...

[Rogles]

Aww yee man, George Carlin is awesome. He died...

[manuel]

"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?"

WAAAAAAAAAA!!! We had to translate that in Latin class!

[zombiepowder]

yea... that's what inspired "Watchmen"


also i remembered a Carlin quote that has no swears:

"Are vegetarians permitted to eat animal crackers?"

a few more:

"This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time."
      - Narrator, Fight Club

"My name's Leonard Washington. Where I'm from? A little town called None-a-Ya Goddamn Business."
           - Leonard Washington (Dave Chappelle), The World Championship of Dice- Chappelle's Show

"I'm forced to suffer leaders with names like Bush and Dick. And, up until recently 'Colon.'"
-Kurt Vonnegut

[Doc]

Carlin should be OK to post.

[zombiepowder]

awesome

"There are lots of little phrases that don't make sense, in our language. For example 'take a shit...' 'Take a shit?' You don't take a shit you 'LEAVE a shit.' That's the whole idea, to leave it.
'I left a shit'
'Fine thankyou Jeff. Where'd you leave it?'
'In the ice box.'
'I'm gonna take a shit.'
'Don't take one of mine. I only have 2 left and the weekend is comming up. Why don't you go home and take one of your own shits? That guy is always moochin off me. He must think I'm made of shit er somethin. All that shit don't grow on trees you know.'" - George Carlin

[Doc]

Nice one. Love the "Stuff" routine myself, and love the Watchmen reference!

Television is a new medium. It's called a medium because nothing is well-done. - Fred Allen