Jokes

[o.pwuaioc]

"Emacs is a great operating system. The only thing it's missing is a really compelling and intuitive text editor."

That's hilarious.

[smeghead]

Guy was caught by native cannibals.
They've put him in the stove and preparing to cook him in the water.
The cook starts to kick him with the wooden spoon.
One cannibal asks him: Why do you kick the guy?
The cook answers: Because it's already the third time he ate our noodles!

[smeghead]

Two guys talking:
I have the SAME car like you do.
Only mine is not white, it's blue.
And mine is not BMW , mine is Yugo.!

[MaxXimus]

I don't get it? Can you explain?

[smeghead]

He said that has the same car like the other guy, but it's the different color and type
Post Merge: October 26, 2013, 03:05:37 am
Two balloons are going through the desert.
One said to other - Watch out there's a cactus-ssssssssssssss.


Post Merge: October 27, 2013, 12:17:11 pm
Guest came to one restaurant...
He said to the waiter  - ''One portion of gramatic errors''
Waiter: ''Sorry we do not serve that''
Guest: ''Then why you have it in your Menu?''

[MaxXimus]

What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?

Roberto

[smeghead]

 
Woman came to gynecologist...
Woman: Doctor, my husband says that my vagina is too big, i would love you to exam it to see is that really true
Doctor: Take off your clothes to make an exam.
(Woman undress)
Docor: What a huge vagina! What a huge vagina!
Žena (angry): Did you really needed to say that twice?
Doctor: I didn't, it was an echo. I didn't, it was an echo...

[L___E___T]

Heard that one in Predator many moons ago

[MaxXimus]

I just head the vag echo joke the other day from a coworker.

[security16]

What did the leper say to the hooker

Spoiler

Keep the tip 

[close]

[smeghead]

Man is selling apple seeds on the street.
Policeman comes and asks: What is that?
- I'm selling apple seeds.
-What are they for?
- You eat one and become smarter.
- How much it costs?
- 2,5$ / one piece
- I'll buy one
Policeman eats the seed, stops a little bit and says
- Wait a minute, for 2,5$ i could buy one kilo of apples and get 20 seeds instead of one...
Man answers
- You see, it already works!
Policeman: Really, give me two more seeds!

[smeghead]

Man called police...
- I'm surrounded by thousands of dead!!
- Where are you located?!!??!
- At the cemetery.

[MaxXimus]

Lol good one.

what do you call fish without eyes?

Fsh.

[smeghead]

Why did the blonde have trouble in the ladies room?

- She is not used to pulling her own pants down.

[MaxXimus]

My 4 year old just said this haha.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Corn corn corn. I'm going down. I'm just pooping. In the street.

Lol...